More on Ageing Living

I’ve been getting stuck in to AI.

Who’d ever’ve thought it ?

I figured that since there was an absolute SHITLOAD of researching to be done, it might as well be done by ‘someone’ to whom research is bread-&-butter. And I was right.

I’ve been discovering all the traps for young (and old) players when utilizing AI. ALL of  ’em. The one I come across most often is the one that says “You have to be really careful of asking the right question”. Also the one that states “When formulating your question do not waffle“. There are, of course, many more such pointers; but that pair constitutes my worst failings – a fact of which I suspect you are already aware …

So. After having constructed a list through my AI’s workings (mine, btw, is Copilot – it’s Microsoft’s – who I familiarly call ‘CP’) I played around with the approach email CP had come up with and rolled up my sleeves. The ensuing email attack didn’t generate a lot of responses: if I remember correctly, I had two. The first was an almost instant rejection from a small company that told me its premises were full; and there was not a word regarding waitlists. The second was a very pleasant response in the negative from a much larger group, advising that they don’t allow pets. Then a whole big lot of silence.

What, specifically, was I asking for ? – and from whom …?

Ay, there’s the rub: I had done my best to decide whether ’tis nobler in the mind* – or more sensible in the fact – to go for Independent Living Units or Residential Aged Care, and had plumped for the former, not the latter (as previously indicated). “I shall be able to go on living as I do: cooking, doing my own washing, and so forth”, I had concluded. “It won’t be all that different from how things have been since Chic died.” Yes, becoming informed about ILUs had greatly cheered me in the context of my approaching need for safety. And then, gradually, something wormed its way into the ancient brain: a feeling of familiarity with that phrase, Independent Living Unit … ILU … why did it seem as if I actually knew it ?

*OKOKOK ! - I'll stop now.

Light dawned. It was because I had spent 18 months or so LIVING IN AN ILU down in Geelong !!!

It was an extremely pleasant little unit, one of 8, in the grounds of a large organization called MACS – Multicultural Aged Care Services – which comprised these eight ‘bottom level’ units, a two-storeyed building for those needing the next level of care when it became necessary, and by far the largest section, the actual aged care part for those limited to their beds. Shit a brick ! – how had I forgotten ?

Deliberately. I’d put MACS out of my head because I’d hated living there. It wasn’t the unit, or anything about the construction or the environment: it was that I had never felt so much like a freeloader, never been made so aware of living in a place that was only temporarily mine. Rules. Regulations. It was like being back in boarding-school. People would simply turn up: my split system had to be cleaned monthly, so the bloke who had the contract would just arrive and knock on the door at any time. Yes I could buy something nice to eat from the cafe and yes it could be that day’s hot meal that was being served to the bed-ridden; but no I was not to take it back to my unit to eat. And when I, all unknowing, did just that, one of the staff arrived at my door to tell me to take it back to the cafe. All the units’ mail was delivered to the main building, whence we went, queued and were eventually be handed it; and the woman in charge was a known termagant who had to be handled with kid gloves, and it was exhausting. When the unit next to mine had a leakage problem the plumbers arrived demanding to be let into my side yard for access to its wall; and there was no advance advice, just the unexpected arrival of large grumpy men (with large noisy tools) who were not very polite. I absolutely detested that kind of living.

You won’t have any difficulty, then, in realizing why I changed my mind about my direction of travel.

So it has to be that of which I had first thought – residential aged living. The bad perms and the false teeth. And there – just there, that previous sentence ! – you see one of my two worst (very worst !) character faults: intolerance. M-R Stringer is an intolerant old woman. She was, to be honest, an intolerant young woman, as well as being an intolerant middle-aged one. If you stand back with your arms folded and consider it, turning your head this way and that, M-R has spent her entire life, all 82 years of it, being intolerant.

What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists, is not
that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not
what they say about their cause, but what they say about their 
opponents.
                                                    — Robert Kennedy

Only somewhat relevant: I don’t have ‘opponents’ but just people who drive me bonkers by not doing or saying or thinking the same as do or say or think I (especially when it comes to grammar !).

I have reached a decision, and it is to do my absolute utmost to stop being thus. That my way is NOT the only alternative to the highway.

How successfully I’m going to be able to manage this remains to be seen.  It’ll be on my own head: either I stop with the unuttered intellectual demands or I spend the rest of my life in my room with the Boodster, crocheting and mucking about with the Dell …

That’s the problem: I could do that quite happily … AND I’d be getting all my meals !

No ! I am not going to want to be reclusive. I am not going to want everyone to be intellectually superior. I am going to be normal.

I very much hope.

So it’s come to this

I’ve been totally silent, I’m aware, since I arrived here in Footscray with a determination to see out my days in this little old flat. My impression of it – the flat itself – hasn’t changed: I love it dearly, with all its little-old-flat faults, because it’s what I am, at heart, used to. I hadn’t realised … But since Footscray arrival everything has changed, and not for the better.

I think I must’ve known from the start that I wasn’t going to be able to make it work, because otherwise I would’ve done as promised and posted here about it, in joy, with photos. Why didn’t I …? How could I have known …?

In something like my second week, I fell over. This isn’t a gasp-making scenario: I’ve fallen over several times in the past 6 or 7 years. In fact, I live on a Level 2 Home Support Plan specifically because of that tendency. And it could be said not to have been my own half-witted fault: the paths in Geelong Road are appalling, made of asphalt and thus pitted and rutted and well as being almost constantly dotted with hard little round nutty things fallen from the Council trees growing in the nature strips. That fall resulted in a haematoma on the upper left of my left shin – still obvious and going to be for several months – and multiple X-rays of varying kinds.

A few weeks thereafter, I slipped in the bath. Yeahyeah, I know, she said resignedly: I should never have taken on a flat with shower over bath. Sighh … I’d bought a couple of “bath mats” made of hard little batons with suckers underneath to put in said bath and stop me falling, but they didn’t reach right to the getting-in end, where there’s a really good grab-rail. I’d reached for the rail and put my right foot in, where it was on nekkid bath: foot slid away to the right carrying body, hand still had hold of rail, so left foot/leg were yanked up into the bath, slamming ankle against its top on the way.  😦  Fairly amazing bruising, lots more X-rays and another haematoma but this time on the right side of the left leg’s lower shin. Jesus. The staff down at Footscray Private Imaging rolled their eyes on seeing me again.

More weeks passed. One day I was out on my way to … somewhere (whose nose ?) when I felt pain on top of my left foot and looked down: the entire top of it was covered in the largest bruise I’d ever seen. And one of the ugliest. To this day I have not the faintest idea of how it had happened. I do understand that the blood-thinner I’m on exacerbates bruising; but honestly, shouldn’t I at least KNOW what I did to my own fucking foot to result in even, let us say, an ordinary bruise ?

And then I realised that I was having some problems with balance: stepping past the Boodster, between him and the little table on the living-room rug, became something of brief anxiety. Turning around on the spot (any), ditto. I needed, it became obvious eventually, things to hold on to or at least be there to be held on to if not actually grasped. Not all the time, not by any means. Just enough to have the ancient brain kicked into gear on the topic.

It could be vertigo: my mother suffered from it and my younger sister does, quite badly. But that’s no help to my situation, having an explanation: it has still to be managed somehow.

I can see only one solution to this dilemma. It’s a solution I had never once thought I would need to reach because the possibility of it had never once occurred to me, in my wildly vain assumption of permanent good-if-not-perfect health (overlooking my GP’s opinion about atherosclerosis because I don’t believe the fat|heart hypothesis).

I’m going to have to move into aged care residential.

ME ? – M-R ??? AGED CARE ENVIRONMENT ?????

I don’t think I need to describe to you my reluctance to give up being me, M-R, and becoming one of a gaggle of old people with false teeth and bad perms (well, the women, at least).

That’s where I am right now: not just contemplating but getting going on this horrible plan.

Chelsea Brown said it …

… “and that’s the truth !” (Who remembers Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In ? – Stringer and I loved it !)

Here’s a link to an article about being published. As you will deduce if you’re really clever, this subject still rankles with me, which is typically egotistical. Sighh …

The article is actually about novels (other than the first example written about), whereas my subjective ramble is a memoir. As to how come I expected, even for a moment, that my heartfelt grief-therapy-that-really-helped (but not as much as my wonderful bereavement counsellor did) was ever going to launch me into anything … whose nose ?, as the central character of my egocentric rave was wont to utter.

What isn’t mentioned in the article is one of the reasons behind the Really Big Nothing that usually follows publication — when the Marketing Manager of your publishing company doesn’t like your work (and yes, she told me so).

I shall now stop whingeing and feeling sorry for myself in retrospect. Time for breakfast !, she said briskly, rubbing her hands together and grinning …

At long last ! – yaaaay !!

I’m back to my bad old ways.  🙂

Moving on Wednesday, 1st October. This I have no doubt will be my last rental, and that’s not being dismal, just sensible. I mean, one not only cannot but has no wish to go through what I have over the past year again – not even one more time !

I’m moving to a Melbourne suburb called Footscray: Chic was born there, but I never knew precisely where (nonetheless, that’s a very nice thing !) I know Footscray well; because when I first returned to Melbourne I spent nearly a year in a being-gentrified suburb called Maribyrnong, and trammed it to the train via Footscray-the-place to Footscray-the-station. It’s really multi-racial – Vietnamese and Chinese, mostly, with Arabic and Indian as well. The food !!! [swoon …] My favourite is Vietnamese, as when I was in Maribyrnong the building’s janitor’s wife – they were both from Vietnam – used to make extra meals for me, bring one up to my flat then come back and take away the plates !!! She it was, the gorgeous Oanh, who got me over my loathing of coriander. Her husband, the adorable Bang Pham, was the sweetest man; and the sole fly in the family ointment was their little girl – outrageously spoiled and commensurately demanding. Cute, but.

I’m longing to start over again with arranging my things. One of the best aspects will be that I have actual walls of which I can choose whichever to put my recliner against, and not have fucking reflections on my laptop screen driving me insane (as they are currently doing). I shall need to have my ground-floor balcony enclosed in bird netting so as to confine The Boodster and stop him from rushing down the yard and out onto the main road.  😦

An only slightly historical screen-grab for you, showing my flat (bike on the balcony) from the street forming the corner with the bigger road upon which block sits my flat-block. You can see the road of my address in the left centre.

I am so thrilled about this move, with my removal from vomit on pristine walkways, shopping trolleys filled with garbage, gardens choked with detritus— shut up, M-R ! Anyway, you get the picture. I am, I say, so thrilled that I shall entertain myself with describing my development of my final home. Here, I mean. You do not need to keep up; just accept that I’m truly happy … happier than I’ve been since my third move in Geelong to St Albans Park, and that was many years ago.

You don’t want to know …

… what I’ve been occupied with.

Well, my American friends would be interested, and so would my friend Hev. But the rest of you couldn’t care less, I suspect, when told. And that’s not good, because what’s currently driving my rage is going to affect all of us.

I wish I could flood the Internet with it ! Obama became my all-life political hero when first I started reading about his candidature for the Presidency – that’s a fair span of years (even though a fraction in comparison with my total). He is readily acknowledged by everyone who is not a tRumper to be by far the best President in living memory. And the mad bad man, surrounded by lickspittles and followers-only-for-a-purpose (looking at you, JD) can simply remove the portrait because he hates Obama more than anyone, and not a soul in the White House raises an eyebrow.

I’m following two Substacks: one is by American historian of note Heather Cox Richardson and the other by Robert Reich, who has so many titles and past occupations – “Robert Bernard Reich is an American professor, author, lawyer, and political commentator. He worked in the administrations of presidents Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter, and he served as secretary of labor in the cabinet of President Bill Clinton” – as to almost defy listing ’em. The former’s Substack lays out exactly what’s happening on a daily basis in terms that make you understand her being an historian; and the latter— well, his latest post is this. He posts all manner of things, all in some way positive.

And I’m commenting fairly often on both. (Yes, there have indeed been some blokes who decided they wanted to ‘befriend’ me; but they were easily put off and just went away. They all, btw, protested that my being 82 did not affect their desire to chat. I think there are lots of lonely people …) When I shut down the laptop to go to bed, I wonder how many likes and return comments there will be in the morning: that’s sort of fun.

tRump’s insane tariffs have already started affecting Oz, and they’re not going to improve trade any time soon.

But in truth, it’s America that’s breaking my heart: country of Obama’s 16-year stint as the President whose employment as such was mostly joyful. It was certainly filled with intelligence, grace, charm, humour, music and deep thinking. For that, so recent and so memorable (in spite of Mitch McConnell) to be now replaced with the police state that’s almost there … the anger, the cruelty, the carelessness of everything except power and money … I don’t have the words.

Nah, I’m just hopeless :(

I start out with high ideals.

I always end up having dropped ’em by the wayside.

Yeah, that’s me alright.

I do have a sort of excuse— no, I mean explanation: it’s the dwindling of energy that being almost unbelievably ancient causes … brings … is responsible for.

When I was young (about two years ago), I would NEVER take any easy way out of bloody anything ! – in fact, I was driven to being a kind of seeker of Trouble … right here in River City; and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pathetic. [Apologies to that extraordinary wordsmith, Meredith Wilson. Oh, there are some wonderful American musicals ! – no wonder Stringer loved them so.]

And the pathetic is what now characterizes me, alas. Rather than save muchos dollari and forego Microsoft, learning how to make the large change from Outlook to Thunderbird – also a downward step in terms of calendar function – and the only slightly less large change from Excel to LibreOffice’s Calc, within which I cannot find most of the functions I use regularly in Excel without having to open the online manual and search … Oh, and also take the plunge to NOT LOG IN TO MY MICROSOFT ACCOUNT when firing up the old laptop … Rather than take on all these challenges, I say, I have opted out. Pa-the-tic.

So, seeing as how I’ve capitulated to Bill’s software megalodon, I might as well do the same to Matt thingummy’s blog platform.

I have admitted under (blogging) oath to being weak and useless and totally unadmirable, so what’s the point of taking a stand about anything ?!

[sits back with satisfied sigh …]

Still tired, but now infuriated

A bloke named Chip Franklin, who has a lengthy and successful history in various media, posts regularly on YouTube and I read his stuff.

The post that caused me to choke can be watched here (pretty sure I’m not meant to do this, but I honestly think the channeleers ( ! ) don’t care.

I did write in time (meaning, before they closed off comments) to the NYT to add my piece regarding the shutting down of Stephen Colbert’s late-night talk show, and am happy to see it there amongst all the others. The orange lunatic at his best.

The YouTube clip can be said to show him at his most typical – to say two-faced is to grossly flatter the fucker.

I’m tired of being ripped off

This was the latest item in a seemingly unending line of statements from suppliers about escalating prices:

Your WordPress

I’m not going to cough up that amount, any more than I’m going to put up with Microsoft’s appalling greed – with regard to which I shall forego Outlook in divesting myself of Office 365 and Edge and use Firefox and Thunderbird, as my sister tells me the latter can now have a calendar added.

With regard to Automattic’s cash-grab, I shall cease this blog. It didn’t do much, anyway.

This is fearfully unfair !

I spend far too much time on the Web, watching videos of crocheting, of cats, of dogs, of musical items, of American politics, of ‘amazing things’ … You get the picture: I’m a YouTube addict, basically. I even pay the bastards to keep their ads to themselves !

You’ll note that I didn’t include videos of cooking: this is because I haven’t done any real cooking for absolutely yonks, now. I have their prepared meals delivered from a terrific place up in Queensland – although I had no idea of its location when I first started ordering from it. Because I believed I was safe from cooking I gave away my entire kitchen infrastructure.

Today – which might become a day of infamy (in M-R terms, that is) – I came across this site:

https://www.youtube.com/@BOSHTV/videos

and have only stopped watching some of its contents ten minutes ago – when I got to my feet, went to the frig and, having removed a carton with 7 eggs in it, hard-boiled them and ate one.  It was A Kind Of Statement, I think …

Some of the blokes’ multi videos are on topics like tempeh, lentils, beans … I drooled, positively drooled, and had to wipe my front. I LOVED being vegetarian (although these blokes are vegan, I can live with it) and found vegetarian cooking hugely more tasty and certainly more easy than omnivore cooking.

I have written slightly savage comments under one or two videos, as is my wont – the comments, rather than their being slightly savage, that is – in trying to explain to the pair of chefs just how unfair they are in presenting a cooking-infrastructure-less person with dishes such as those they present. They’ve written a cookbook. I see a possible out, albeit an expensive one …

Hang on ! – that’s a different one ! Oh Jesus, they’ve published two … I’m lost.