I’ve been totally silent, I’m aware, since I arrived here in Footscray with a determination to see out my days in this little old flat. My impression of it – the flat itself – hasn’t changed: I love it dearly, with all its little-old-flat faults, because it’s what I am, at heart, used to. I hadn’t realised … But since Footscray arrival everything has changed, and not for the better.
I think I must’ve known from the start that I wasn’t going to be able to make it work, because otherwise I would’ve done as promised and posted here about it, in joy, with photos. Why didn’t I …? How could I have known …?
In something like my second week, I fell over. This isn’t a gasp-making scenario: I’ve fallen over several times in the past 6 or 7 years. In fact, I live on a Level 2 Home Support Plan specifically because of that tendency. And it could be said not to have been my own half-witted fault: the paths in Geelong Road are appalling, made of asphalt and thus pitted and rutted and well as being almost constantly dotted with hard little round nutty things fallen from the Council trees growing in the nature strips. That fall resulted in a haematoma on the upper left of my left shin – still obvious and going to be for several months – and multiple X-rays of varying kinds.
A few weeks thereafter, I slipped in the bath. Yeahyeah, I know, she said resignedly: I should never have taken on a flat with shower over bath. Sighh … I’d bought a couple of “bath mats” made of hard little batons with suckers underneath to put in said bath and stop me falling, but they didn’t reach right to the getting-in end, where there’s a really good grab-rail. I’d reached for the rail and put my right foot in, where it was on nekkid bath: foot slid away to the right carrying body, hand still had hold of rail, so left foot/leg were yanked up into the bath, slamming ankle against its top on the way. 😦 Fairly amazing bruising, lots more X-rays and another haematoma but this time on the right side of the left leg’s lower shin. Jesus. The staff down at Footscray Private Imaging rolled their eyes on seeing me again.
More weeks passed. One day I was out on my way to … somewhere (whose nose ?) when I felt pain on top of my left foot and looked down: the entire top of it was covered in the largest bruise I’d ever seen. And one of the ugliest. To this day I have not the faintest idea of how it had happened. I do understand that the blood-thinner I’m on exacerbates bruising; but honestly, shouldn’t I at least KNOW what I did to my own fucking foot to result in even, let us say, an ordinary bruise ?
And then I realised that I was having some problems with balance: stepping past the Boodster, between him and the little table on the living-room rug, became something of brief anxiety. Turning around on the spot (any), ditto. I needed, it became obvious eventually, things to hold on to or at least be there to be held on to if not actually grasped. Not all the time, not by any means. Just enough to have the ancient brain kicked into gear on the topic.
It could be vertigo: my mother suffered from it and my younger sister does, quite badly. But that’s no help to my situation, having an explanation: it has still to be managed somehow.
I can see only one solution to this dilemma. It’s a solution I had never once thought I would need to reach because the possibility of it had never once occurred to me, in my wildly vain assumption of permanent good-if-not-perfect health (overlooking my GP’s opinion about atherosclerosis because I don’t believe the fat|heart hypothesis).
I’m going to have to move into aged care residential.
ME ? – M-R ??? AGED CARE ENVIRONMENT ?????
I don’t think I need to describe to you my reluctance to give up being me, M-R, and becoming one of a gaggle of old people with false teeth and bad perms (well, the women, at least).
That’s where I am right now: not just contemplating but getting going on this horrible plan.
DOWNUNDER WITH BOODZ 
Good luck! Enjoy what there is to enjoy in this ride, life might be quite amusing… you never know. Write epigrams. Here, I am a 24/7 carer for my husband and lucky enough to live in our house of 50 years. Thinking of you. Hilary
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Oh you wonderful, hedgehog-encrusted person, HCG !! It does me so much good to hear from you, ‘way up there in Cold-&-WetLand – she said provocatively. [grin]
Do you find any spare time for your garden ? – I do hope so: it would be so helpful to your beautiful soul.
I am so sorry things have deteriorated to full-time care’s being needed: I suppose it was always on the cards … But if there were a choice of who to have caring for one, I am perfectly sure that Hilary Custance Green would forever be right on top of one’s list.
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Oh, no. I completely understand what a huge step this is, and how it is simultaneously a good thing and a moment (maybe, many moments) of grief. I have a friend who just made this move (she had a small stroke while driving, wiped out several cars, and had to hand over the car keys to her children) and she really likes living near other people now and is enjoying it. She likes the food and is discovering that she is able to socialize more than she did before. I hope that you discover that the benefits outweigh the losses.
I can see you raising hell on a regular basis.
Mystery bruises? I’m all over that action!
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I do assure you, Marilyn, that were I to wish to whinge specifically about bruises, it would not be to you !! [grin]
Thanks from the heart for this: it means a huge big lot of assuaging anxiety.
You are an excellent woman, although I’ve been trying to keep that fact from you for quite a while …
And btw, only the comment above, from my dear Hilary, arrived on notice: none of the rest was advised at all. I had thought no-one else to’ve responded. 😦
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Oh MR … I wondered why you had seemed a bit quieter than usual. I hope you can make it work for you. If it’s a friendly place I’m sure you can. There are nice people around. I am mentally preparing myself for all these possibilities now. And part of that is watching my elders (!) showing how it is done.
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Sue, you would never, I hope !, look to me for as an example of anything at all ! – oh, except for being a reader of audiobooks and a huge fan of the best book reviewer in town …
See my response to Midnight Knitter regarding WordPress’ latest wrinkle. 😦
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I am indeed seeing you as an example MR – your wit and humour, and your ability to keep on trucking, are well worth following and learning from. How each of us keeps on trucking varies hugely, but some don’t keep on trucking at all. They just give up. I like being in the orbit and learning from those who do, like you.
As for WP notifications, I have no idea how to make them work consistently, or even how to make commenting on other WP blogs consistent. Mostly these days I go to the Comment Panel on my Dashboard. That’s usually reliable.
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To my inchoate rage I found nozzink of help to explain this latest wrinkle anywhere. And I only found this comment by coming onto the blogsite to check. [sob !]
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I agree it’s maddening. Have you emailed them about it?
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Oh dear, and here I’d been hoping/assuming that you were just enjoying your new digs too much to bother writing. Everything you write about is what’s in the back of my mind every day. I still fully intend to stay in my little house to the bitter end, but I know that sh*t happens. So far I’ve not fallen, but I think about the possibility (and the implications) almost every time I’m on my feet.
Sending sunny vibes your way (sunny is all we have in Denver these days), while understanding all too well the reluctance you’re feeling about this change. Behave yourself, and I’ll try to do the same.
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April is on the way, Colorado – don’t think I don’t remember that you’re 3 months older ‘n me !!! [grin]
We’re glad, I believe, not to be young in these days of nothing but sun in Denver and temperatures all over the place in Melbourne. Not to mention other reasons – for which I’ve absolutely HAD to cancel my Bluesky membership forever: I cannot bear to read another word about red Congress. Or even blue, to be honest.
This move has to be, of course, with Boodie – thus making it more tricky. But it will happen, and I shall continue to apostrophise you via this pertickler medium.
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oh M-R that’s terrible
at the moment I’m about to bury Sister Sue so am in a bad place to talk – I feel terrible you’re going thru this by Sis’s funeral this Monday and I’m bereft
will talk later treasure xx
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Darling Goanna, I’ll watch at 11, in hopes of seeing you there.
This is a dreadful time for you; and I’m of no help at all.
Other than to remind you who loves you …
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M-R, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of the falls and now perhaps be experiencing vertigo. Two of my friends have the latter and while it’s under control for both of them, it can be a horrible experience.
All I can say about moving is do what is well and safe for you. If moving to aged care means we get to continue to converse with you on occasion without worrying about you, that’s a good thing. Just refuse the perms, okay? 😉
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[grin]
Trust you to home in on ’em. I can promise that – and no dentures !!
It’s all very strange, Mary-Jean; but it’s involved my discovering my browser’s AI, which has saved me days of tiresome research !
Did you read what I told Midnight Knitter about WordPress’ lack of email advices ? – I add, regarding it, only
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR …
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I will go back and read back at home. Have to get going and run errands!
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I’m so sorry things aren’t going as you planned. But I was glad to see you write that Boodie must go with you. I hope both of you will smoothly make the transition to new digs.
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I won’t ever leave him, coz he’s my best friend. Also, he likes me – puts up with my losing track of what I’m talking about, of forgetting to do ‘most everything … No sighs of exasperation, no rolling of eyes. His one vile habit, Michele, is insisting I arise, every a.m., between 4 and 5. I snooze during the day fairly often on account of that. 🙂
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Oh MR, I am so sorry to hear about all your difficulties with falling and bruising. But hopefully the new plan will result in your being safer and happier.
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I hope I didn’t over-egg the custard there … I mean, I’m still hale and hearty, if a bit grumpy.
[grin]
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