Back to Damascus

And again I leap up waving my fists in the air and cry “I HAVE IT !”

Totally different topic from that in which I uttered a similar cry some posts back: this time I’ve formed a theory about — ugh ! — weight loss.

For reasons I cannot recall, I found myself watching on the laptop a series of UK television programmes called “Supersize vs Superskinny”, fronted by a bloke of whose  qualifications I am entirely ignorant but who obviously lifts weights in his spare moments. He also wears form-fitting rather loud shirts outside his trousers, and I shall utter not another syllable about that.

‘Dr Christian’ has a formulaic show that must work as it’s into its 6th or 7th (or maybe more ?) series; and we all know that no TV network screens that many episodes of a show unless it’s pulling in the figures. Unintended pun there ..

Its central idea is putting one of each kind into his ‘feeding house’ after establishing, via daily eating diaries of who knows how many weeks, what their entrenched diets are. Then at all three meals the serving each has produced (or has been produced for them, I can’t make that bit out) is swapped over to the other. This provides entertainment along the lines of watching a skeletonic woman looking down in despair at the third gigantic meal of the day sent across the table by her opposite, a huge woman in more despair than she is because of having two Mars bars on a plate in front of her.

But before that viewers are treated to looking over eight huge and eight skeletonic people standing around a weighing machine.

And it’s at this early point that I have been infuriated: not a single superisze woman has a shape like mine ! See that ? – she has ANKLES ! She could walk into a shoe shop and buy shoes – or into Kmart and buy socks ! I started out having inherited my mother’s somewhat shapeless ankles; but mine grew grossly disgusting as I grew fatter. Now I have to admit to not having worn a skirt for approximmately 45 years, just to keep mine from the public gaze.

That is a woman who, we are told, weighs something like 24 stone (152.5 kg) because this is a British programme – featuring lots of Poms, Welsh and Scots, but no Irish .. Rather odd, that ..

Anyway. We see what she eats. It’s appalling – almost incredible – and she’s by no means the worst ! And this really gets to me; because her daily intake would be around .. oh, three or four times the size of mine, at least. No shit ! Mind you, I don’t weigh 152.5 kg (103.1); but our body shapes are not all that different except for the ankles ..

For her, too much takeaway. (In fact I believe I can say that every supersize we see in all the programmes has the same problem, and revolting takeaway food — have you SMELLED a Subway shop lately ? — is proliferating.) For me, ‘portions’ that are far too big. Really good food, though almost vegetarian, that’s delicious. I eat too much of it. I also drink far too much milk coffee: shot pulled from my espresso machine and the mug filled with HOT HOT lactose-free milk.

The pair spends a couple of days in this double torture and then gets lectured and given a diet plan for the next two or three months. We next see their returns: the skinnies have managed to add a pound or two, but the fatties have gone down stones ! I am filled with jealous rage ..

So. My St Paul moment – time to reveal it.

Any fat person who is given a diet plan and who can look forward to reporting in on it on a regular basis will lose weight and continue to do so.

It’s fundamental. If I knew I had an authorititive supervisor who kept on seeing me at intervals, I would be motivated to perform. Indefinitely.

The problem is that when one has no-one to talk with about a regimen, let alone report in on it, it’s a waste of time even trying. I need someone up there (meaning up the hierarchical chain) to listen to me waffling on about my terror of being hungry. I did briefly try a psychologist a few years ago, but all he did was tell me how wonderful I am; and that is not only psychological porkies, but intolerable.

I shall get back onto my donkey and clip-clop away ..

[grin]

21 thoughts on “Back to Damascus

  1. “[…]all he did was tell me how wonderful I am; and that is […] intolerable.” haha! I remember all too well your protestations at my complimenting you! (Actually, I’m also a bit like that, so I understand.)

    Well, I’m going to seek out this series. (Thanks for mentioning it!) I’ve put on a lot of weight since I quit smoking two years, four months and 23 days ago, and watching it might help.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s nothing like targets and goals – and someone checking them – for motivation. I suppose the old Weightwatchers check in each week route won’t work, or isn’t available? I think they have an on-line check-in too but perhaps a computer to report to isn’t quite the same?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, but I do ! Hang on: let me start over ..
      (1) No.
      (2) I do.
      (3) I know that; but it’s no aid to the process. Or perhaps I mean, the process comes before this, and it’s the process I need help with.
      Were I to lose something like 22kgs (again – jesus, how long ago was that last time ?!) it would take me a fucking long time, and there’s no way in the world I could do it unless I were in some kind of occasional face-to-face finger-wagging assisted passage, so to speak.
      All those times I’ve dieted before there has been A Person Overlooking my travails. Mostly Stringer; of course. But without him there have been people like Amanda thingy and her not going hungry no-diet. No, my beloved Goanna: I don’t have the strength of character, and that’s that. Sorry to disappoint.

      Like

  3. Amanda thingy? Who was that?!
    Weight problems are an endless battle of a plentiful life. Why are we eating more than we need to? If this is not addressed, then I don’t see a permanent solution to any diet.
    May one ask if exercise or movement comes into this experiment?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are absolutely correct about the accountability aspect. I did Weight Watchers for a few years, lost the weight, kept it off. Because the weighmaster (I don’t know the actual title) was someone I knew from church. I wasn’t gong to fail in front of her, no way. I don’t remember why I stopped going, but I did keep the weight off.

    Now I could do a self weigh-in and log it online, but it’s too easy to lie about that. So I’m just over here with my 3 extra pandemic pounds, feeling vaguely guilty.

    Liked by 2 people

    • My clever small friend, your 3 extra PPs might worry you but I doubt another soul notices ’em.
      Still, I’ve always understood that it’s far easier for a normal-sized person to lose a little weight than it is for a fat old fart to shuck off quite a lot.
      And THANK YOU for your encouraging words about WW !!
      I have now enrolled, and it remains only to advise re location. Off to do that now.
      XO

      Like

  5. I don’t know what to think about the show you’ve described! I know people aren’t forced to participate in such experiences, but I feel like they’re subjected to ridicule and a lot of embarrassment. But to your point about weight loss, let me also add my voice to Weight Watchers. I lost more than 50 pounds with the program several years ago and I’ve managed to keep it off. I am absolutely faithful with meetings, which is the accountability you mention. I’ve really enjoyed the on-line meetings this past year when the studios have been closed, but I do recommend taking advantage of all the supports the company provides. I do wish you success! I’m very positive about the program.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Complimenti bella ! That’s another piece of encouragement for this hopeless idiot. :D
      I’m tickled pink to learn from you and from Michele that it really can work in the long term.
      Accountability is the word: with that resting on one’s head, motivation holds good.
      XO from Downunder

      Liked by 1 person

      • If you find you need more encouragement along the way, the “connect” feature is really nice. Sometimes just reading what others post about their journey really encourages me. You’ll do well…it takes time, because it’s not a quick fix program, but it really does work!

        Liked by 1 person

        • I found that yesterday arvo, Debra, and spent some time wandering through and making short comments. I fear I will have offended one woman: her ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos show clearly – to me, at least ! – that she’s gone too far, and is now all tendons around the neck. Before she was plump and really attractive; and now she has dyed hair and looks awful. I told her to put back on 5kg. Doubt she will. :\

          Like

Leave a Reply to pdxknitterati Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s