Old problem, new (partial) solution

/ MR

This-morning I tried something very different from my usual first-of-the-day coffee.

As almost anyone who finds time to peruse my egocentric ravings knows, I have a permanent problem with what I put in my cakehole. This is because it goes in there and rarely does aught but settle into all crevices and make itself comfortable, knowing it’s there for the long haul.I did, she said modestly, go down from around 105kg to 75kg, but that was about four years ago; and since then my anxiety about keeping those kilos off has grown more or less exponentially. In other words, I worry now a great deal more about my weight than ever I did in days of yore, when I was … how shall I say ? … round.

I have put on 5kg: that’s the bottom line. I weighed in at 80 the other day, and burst into tears: I couldn’t get into my size 16 jeans.

“I didn’t mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident” – SO funny (not !).

Anyway, enough with the background miz.

I drink far too much coffee, everyone knows that: I reckon I get through an average of 5 or 6 of those double-walled latte glasses a day. I’ve never been a black coffee drinker, so there’s a shitload of milk going down the little red lane. When I was on WW (have to give those bastards the credit: it was they who got me down 30kg), the milk in my coffee was possibly my leading WATCHOUT ! I don’t recall the points they gave to my lactose-free long-life (UHT) low-fat milk, but it was not a teeny number and I had to be on the qui vive at all times; in fact I can recall going without various food items in order to add the LF-LF-LF to another coffee.

And that is relevant still, alas ! But I no longer drink my milk as I did: it’s now full cream because I am, these days, an adherent of low carb|high fat as a food directive. In truth, I have been attempting carnivore as a NO carb|high fat rule – without a whole big lot of success, it must be admitted. But that’s another story (do not scream loudly and cover your ears: I am not about to tell more of it here).

So that’s the over-all picture: I drink a very large amount of coffee, to which I am well and truly addicted, and I drink it with milk, thus accumulating an extremely noticeable number of both carbs and cals.

Pfuh ! – a 35-y-o female @ 170m and 65kg ? – is that actually possible ? Should it not be based on an 81-y-o female who’s 168m and 80kg (sob !) and for whom the likelihood of walking for three-quarters of an hour in order to rid herself of those 12g of carbs – which are over the DAILY limit if you’re doing ketovore – is remote to the point of invisibility ?! And that’s totally ignoring the 158 calories !!! AND we’re talking only milk for two coffees !!!!!

Sighh … I have now worked myself into an absolute lather.

There. Intro over.

I’ve read in more than one place about bullet-proof coffee. It is, basically, black coffee, but with … stuff added. All the gurus who recommend the low carb|high fat regimen mention bullet-proof coffee at some stage. I decided to give it a burl.

I sorted among the various recipes and plumped (that’s what I do: I plump for something !) for this one, seeing as how it’s on a website for nothing but bullet-proof products:

No idea why that warning’s there about the MCT oil; it’s a product from coconut, one of my favourite flavours. But I put in only a big teaspoon rather than a tablespoon; and when I have my next coffee I shall forget all that shit and go for it.

No blender in this household; but I bought a stick one from (ugh !) Amazon and it works brilliantly. The coffee came from my new little red moka rather than my Barista Express, because I needed more of it than the espresso machine produces.

And – FINALLY ! – what was the result ???

Amazingly … astonishingly … astoundingly … I LIKE IT.

13 thoughts on “Old problem, new (partial) solution”

  3. Love that last picture. I’m smiling back at it. Wish giving up coffee would solve my weight problem. I only drink a cup a day, and that one was black many years ago. Ugh. Don’t know how I did it. Worse, I think it was instant. Now days I don’t know what one thing would be best to cut out. Probably some of everything. I guess I’m worst with carbs. Eating is what I need to cut out.

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    • My very dear Colorado, I am perfectly sure you need to cut out NUTHIN’ !!

      I am a totally solo person, and see me as needing to make myself as visually acceptable as I can in order to be able to at least TALK to other people. And then there’s the matter of having lost weight at 78, and being so unused to looking almost normal that I became obsessed with it.

      Dunno what the answer is for me. But for you, be happy. Sorry – go on being happy. 🙂

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  4. Oh, I feel your coffee pain. There cannot be life without coffee!!! Year ago, I was told that I needed to give up all coffee (and salt, alcohol, chocolate, sugar, anything white like rice and flour…) and there was a small rebellion. Okay, I started lying to my doctor. I bought an expresso machine and made myself a latte every morning because if I could only have one, it should be good, right? I gave up the salt and alcohol, but nothing will make me forsake chocolate!!!! I’m so glad that you have researched and arrived at a solution that you like. You go, girl!!

    I do try to get at least three or four serving of dairy a day because I need the calcium. It’s really hard to try to maintain weight while getting down the correct foods for necessary minerals (like iron, potassium and calcium) and I’m interested in how your dietary choices are working for you. So happy with your final emoji!

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    • Ah, you made me laugh, Marilyn ! – the thought of you telling porkies to a medical person tends to make me sit up straight !!! 🙂

      I have begun to wonder if perhaps the rather large amount of milk I’ve been consuming over the past few years has left a legacy: going for a single day without any – meaning, only bulletproof coffee – has lost me 2kg. And even if that’s just fluid, there’s a reason for any such fluid-ridding.

      Will certainly and happily bore you shitless regarding this: just ask anyone else whose name you see here … [grin]

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  5. All things in moderation? I do love half and half in my coffee. (Do you call it half and half there? Half cream, half milk.)

    We’re mostly vegetarian these days, with occasional fish. I’d love to shed 10 pounds, but I don’t care enough to be motivated to do so.

    But mostly I think our bodies are good bodies, strong and resilient and they get things done. They are many different shapes and sizes, but if they’re healthy, they’re fine.

    One year I gave up seconds for Lent, and that worked on several levels! It went more smoothly than giving up swearing for Lent, hah!

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    • Love that, Michele – the idea of your failing utterly in Lent to stop Awful Words escaping from your lips !!! 🙂

      I do agree with your philosophy on bodies; but you’ve never been FAT. Like, morbidly obese. It’s something out of nature, imnsho …

      And it leaves a scar.

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  6. in my experience, the warning is because, starting with to much will have you in the bathroom multiple times in one day… possibly for a few days

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